How To Discuss Financial Problems With Your Partner

Money is a major cause of why couples fight, so most partners may prefer to ignore the topic altogether until it’s really necessary. Couples tend to follow the financial habits they learned from their parents or role models, which makes it sort of an emotional subject to discuss. Things get even more complicated when the difference in attitude is combined with a imbalance in power.

Discussing money may cause a lot of anger, but it is an essential conversation that you must have to avoid strain in your relationship. Here are a few tips to discuss financial problems with your partner:

• Understand each other’s financial attitudes: Everyone has a unique approach to money based on life experience, so it’s unlikely that your partner’s attitude towards finances will be exactly like yours. Money can mean security, freedom, or power for you or your partner, which will influence how his or her spending and saving habits. It is important to recognise your partner’s financial behaviours and find a common ground to avoid conflict.

• Set mutual goals early in the relationship: Ideally, you should discuss money in the early stages of your relationship when discussing other matters like children and a place to live. As soon as the two of you are committed to being in a long-term relationship, you should have a plan for how to save and spend your money. If you don’t have equal income, you should settle on a plan that allows you to share financial responsibility in your relationship.

• Proper timing: To start an unbiased money conversation, pick the right moment when both of you are calm. Consider establishing a “time-out rule” to stop the conversation temporarily when one of you is getting angry, cynical, or combative, as these emotions inhibit rational thought.

• Avoid the blame game: When financial problems arise, it is easy to blame the spending on your partner. Instead, try to budget, share financial obligations, and find solutions to any problems together as a team.

• Face the situation: If you are facing a money problem, start by working out where your money is going. If you’re open about your finances, you shouldn’t have a problem reviewing bank statements, credit card debt, and household bills together. Find ways to reduce your expenses, cut down on debt, and start saving.

Having a money conversation with your partner shouldn’t be difficult. If you want to, tackle debt, take a holiday , save for your children’s education, or buy a home, you need to agree on a financial plan. If you’re already in some kind of financial trouble, it is often helpful to talk to a professional about getting out of debt together, gain financial literacy, and move forward debt free together.